The Journal Of A Nobody

So, the last time i went for a gig, it was in 2003 and i was still in ITM .It was in Ampang City Plaza and it was a “tribute to Trash-Hardcore-Crossover” gig where i had my last ’sweaty’ moment in the mosh pitt. The last stage dive and the last slamming.The last moment in the ‘underground’ world.

and the result?…that night, i got a really bad backache and i can’t feel my legs at all. All numb.I guess its how our body try to tell us..” hey, u getting old,man..stop doing the mosh!”

So, now as a working adult, i totally left the pitt.

I love music but Im a not pure musician or an artistic dude that can elaborate a drawings or a weird looking sculptures but i really appreciate live music performances. From Hard Rock to ballads ,from rave to downtempo ,from traditionals to big band ochestra.

Just recently, this year, i found another ‘pitt’ . An acoustic cafe, Cantumas Cafe in Setiawangsa (i mean Seattlewangsa..)KL. A place where a so called working adult like me can sit ,eat ,drink and chill out while listening to nice  local indie music, performed lived that will smoothen your ears after a hard day at the office.

This is where i start to know names like Wani Ardy, Estrella, Bite Me Butterfly,Rivernation ,Kabus and some more local independent (underground??) artistes. Kudos goes to those who wrote and sang their own songs in Bahasa Malaysia.  I am glad to know that , how our music are evolving in the indie scene but i wonder why our radios and TVs still keep playing those Indon songs soo hard?it’s like over and over again. I remember  that even bloody Celcom used that Indon band, Peter Pan, to do cover song ‘ Football Mad Nation’ on TV ads for their UERO CUP 08 promotion. Why didnt they just used the original artistes, Disagree and Pop Shuvit for that TV ads? and MALAM PESTA MUSIC INDONESIA in KL recently?..What the fuck is that!!??

oh yeah..i forgot ..there are about 2.5 millions foreign workers in Malaysia now and almost 50% from that are Indonesian. It is all about quantity and figures.So those mediacos and telcos just doing their job as a fucking capitalist.

Anyway..about this kakak named Yunalis (Yuna). i saw and heard her name at Urbanscapes 08 but i didnt really saw her performance that day.So, i dun really know who she is until a colleague at the office gave me a copy of her EP with self titled; YUNA.  It have 4 english songs with one Malay songs.He got it from his brother and he insisted me to listen to it.i heard she is from Kuantan?

and yeah,.i start to like her..i mean,.. her songs and voice..

I know this sounds crazy but  i started  humming this song everyday ever since. (Do you believe it?)

yeah..she wears tudung (Hijab) and pluck the guitar.

( Her video in my profile contributed by fungusinthemilk of Youtube.com)

DAN SEBENARNYA by YUNA

Oh bulan
yang melayan diriku lagi
Pabila air mata membasahi pipi
Dan lagu-lagu di radio seolah-olah memerli aku
Pabila kau bersama yang lain

Adakah perasaan benci ini sebenarnya cinta
yang masih bersemadi untukmu
Dan sebenarnya ku mengharapkan
di sebalik senyumanmu itu
kau juga merindui aku

Ku enggan
berpura-pura ku bahagia
Ku enggan
melihat kau bersama si dia
Oo ku akui cemburu mula menular dalam diri
Pabila kau bersama yang lain

Adakah perasaan benci ini sebenarnya cinta
yang masih bersemadi untukmu
Dan sebenarnya ku mengharapkan
di sebalik senyumanmu itu
kau juga merindui aku

[Bridge]
Di saat kau merenung matanya
ku rebah jatuh ke bumi
Di saat kau benar benar mahu pergi
seperti ku bernafas dalam air

Adakah perasaan benci ini sebenarnya cinta
yang masih bersemadi untukmu
Dan sebenarnya ku mengharapkan
di sebalik senyumanmu itu
kau juga merindui aku

Thanks for all those kind  and also nasty Birthday wishes!

So, got couple of goals that i still seek:

1.To be a filthy-fucking- rich Malay guy without sucking up to UMNO and NEP

2. To be a powerful ’somebody’

3. To have my own brand ( it can be any product or service, i am thinking of a women Lingerie product. )

but the truth is, im drifted away..n it seems that im wasting alot of my youth.

Goldfinger-Wasted Again (Video taken from Youtube.com)

Im wasted again
Passed out dont know who I am
Im so wasted again
Black out dont know where Ive been
Or who I am
I thought I could make it on my own
I thought I was indestructible
I had an excuse cause i was young
I thought I was so untouchable
I would throw it all away
I would throw my life away
Im wasted again
Pasted out dont know who I am
Im so wasted again
Black out dont know where Ive been
I couldnt admit that I was wrong
I didnt fit in didnt belong
I was young
I was stupid
A life of despair
I was proud
I was angry
I just didnt care
I was everything I never wanted to be
I became my enemy
I would throw it all away
I would throw my life away
Im wasted again
Pasted out dont know who I am
Im so wasted again
Black out dont know where Ive been
or who I am
They Said I had potential
They said I got whats coming to me
They say I got the devil (the devil)
and I dont know whats wrong with me
whats wrong with me
Im wasted again
Pasted out dont know who I am
So wasted again
Black out dont know where Ive been
Im wasted again
Pasted out dont know who I am
So wasted again
Black out dont know where Ive been
Cause Im wasted again (so wasted)
Im wasted again (so wasted)
Im wasted again (so wasted)
Im wasted again (so wasted)
(so wasted)
(so wasted)
(so wasted)

I am not an antique lover or a conservation activist who protect those artifacts and human civilization ruins .Neither i am an anti-modernization.

Jalan Post Office Lama

We cannot stop a city to grow but there’s a limit for it. Doesnt matter how important that development means to the residents , it doesnt have to forget and eradicate the old ones.

I think i got to back this Aidilfitri , to see the last of old building blocks in Jalan Post Office Lama and at the riverside of  Kota Bharu before it flattened to make way for a new Mall. ( Don’t we have enough of Malls ??)

Upcoming Pelangi Mall .(Yeah rite,.just what The Kay Bees really need , another mall in KB.)

For some Kay Bees, they might like those high rise new complex towering in the city skyline..but for me..what i really miss is the charm of the good old KB..the smell of fresh east-coast  breeze  in the morning and  idle  sunset moment at Tambatan DIraja.

Or maybe i just finding some excuse to go home this Aidilfitri…

Enough said.

(all photos are taken from raykinzoku.fotopages.com)

“Home”- Michael Buble ( Video are taken from Youtube.com)

Another summer day
Has come and gone away
In Paris and Rome
But I wanna go home
Mmmmmmmm

May be surrounded by
A million people I
Still feel all alone
I just wanna go home
Oh, I miss you, you know

And I’ve been keeping all the letters that I wrote to you
Each one a line or two
“I’m fine baby, how are you?”
Well I would send them but I know that it’s just not enough
My words were cold and flat
And you deserve more than that

Another aeroplane
Another sunny place
I’m lucky, I know
But I wanna go home
Mmmm, I’ve got to go home

Let me go home
I’m just too far from where you are
I wanna come home

And I feel just like I’m living someone else’s life
It’s like I just stepped outside
When everything was going right
And I know just why you could not
Come along with me
‘Cause this was not your dream
But you always believed in me

Another winter day has come
And gone away
In even Paris and Rome
And I wanna go home
Let me go home

And I’m surrounded by
A million people I
Still feel all alone
Oh, let me go home
Oh, I miss you, you know

Let me go home
I’ve had my run
Baby, I’m done
I gotta go home
Let me go home
It will all be all right
I’ll be home tonight
I’m coming back home

Surprisingly, i received awesome comments and feedbacks from my fellow comrades. I thought u guys never bother about this , especially my varsity friends in UiTM.
Keep it up.More feedbacks please. What u see now is Democracy At Work.

Below are some feedbacks which i think intelligent enough to be post while others are so lame and obnoxious,which i view as inappropriate to be view.Kinda shocked to know that they ‘re actually sent by UiTM studs and grads. (U know who u are…) 

ok here we go!!

The Cons:

Feedback 1:

k-e,

even though u are my fren, sorry to say … i feel u are such a hypocrite… u will agree to what ever ur so called leader said… never thinks the pros n cons… thinklah…!!! jangan jadi buta hati!!! ask Nik Aziz, what his opinion about this UiTM issues… so far, i haven’t heard anything from PAS… mana semangat perjuangan melayu, tegakkan bangsa melayu,selamatkan bangsa melayu, which u speak so loud before this? u want multi-racial uni, we’ve already got UM, UKM, UPM, UNITEN.. to name a few…. i’m not as intelligent and knowledgable about politics and all that like u, k-e …but i wonder, why want to disturb UiTM???… doesn’t selangor government has anything better to do?!!! there’s a lot of other issues that was raised during election haven’t been settled yet… n what about UNITAR? as far as i know, that uni is 100% chinese… nobody ever raised any issue about it… if they can have uni only for chinese, why not us? why that ‘perlembagaan’ be such an issue???…i wonder…
government + opponent = crack people… who are the victims? just think!

K-E Said:

Yes.Sometimes i can be a hypocrite asshole but we all have a little hypocrisy inside of us.Duncha think?

It’s not a matter of agreeing or not-to-agree to whatever my "so-called-Leader" said.What he ( Khalid Ibrahim) said is represent of what he think. He is being a politician and he is just doing his job.It is what we pay him to do. There’s nothing right or wrong in his statement.It is just an idea. At least, he gave something fresh for us to think and not like those lame issues about "Bocor" or "Angkat Keris".BTW, Selangor MB was a GM of Guthrie and CEO of some GLCs and conglomerates before this.So, as a business grad,can i accept a suggestion from a business leader?..off course i can.

Anyway, whatever you think or say about the new State Gov, the people of Selangor already chosed the opposition to rule.As a Kelantanese,i only can share their vision and hopes to see some changes in this state.It takes time to get things back in order.They only ruled for 6 months and off course it’s not enough to settle everything.Most of the people understand this. That’s why i didnt see or heard any Malay residents in Shah Alam or any towns,joined the ‘protest march’ with those ‘5000′ UiTM Students who obviously don’t know why and what they’re marched for.

Correct me if im wrong but you wont hear anything from PAS about this.These Malay issues is irrelevant to them because in Islam, there’s no such thing as single dominant race in an Islamic country.Im not pious or religious enough  but i do understand that in ISlam, we cannot segregate the people’s rights based on their ethnicity.No one can considerer as ’special’ or  ‘master’.  Remember the "Dark Ages" (Jahilliyah) era before The Prophet Muhammad (pbuh)?Where the all the Arabs Jahilliyah tribes go for war because of ‘Kabilah’ (tribal) mentality?And came The Prophet ,with His creation of Islamic Republic of Medina where all its citizens were given equal rights, regardless of races and religions.And do you believe if i say that, Thomas Jefferson  refer to many books before he wrote the Declaration Of Indepence of USA, and one of the book is Quran(given by the diplomats of Morocco) where he took the model of Medina? Up to u, to believe or not but i took that as a consideration. Bottomline is, what UMNO’s Malay Agenda is totally contradicted with ISlam’s principles or even their own ISlam Hadhari.(Anyway,can someone tell me what is Islam Hadhari?) 

And since when i "talked loud" about the " Semangat perjuangan melayu, Tegakkan bangsa melayu,Selamatkan bangsa melayu..etc etc?"Is it during our class or during our hang out session? I still remember that i never talk about "Agenda Melayu" whenever we meet.We always talked bout business,right?

and..Selamatkan Bangsa Melayu…from what??Are you saying that, by open up UiTM, Malay will be left out and will lose? . are you saying that Malay students are not competent enough to ‘race’?Are you saying that Malay are not good enough to face the free market?are you saying that Malay is not qualified to be in any "league"?

Looks like you underestimated the Malay yourself.in fact, you are downgrading the Malays.It’s really insulting and i feel offended by your statement

and all i can see is we have to Save the Malays from those UMNO’s stigma and release ourselves from their iron claws.

And What the hell is Semangat perjuangan melayu, tegakkan bangsa melayu or perhaps, Ketuanan Melayu?
What i understand is, Ketuanan Melayu is just a political illusion created by UMNO to create fear among the Malays,so that we have to cling and rely on them for every thing that involves the Malays,especially the country’s wealth.They have being Intimidate the Malays for soo long. Spreading the ideas that their are the saviour of the Malays’ survival.Same goes to the chinese and Indians with their heroes of MCA and MIC. This is what happened since our forefathers chosed The Alliance (now BN) , a British’s proxy to rule this Federation to preserve their colonial system of "Divide and Rule" (Pecah dan Perintah) .So, its sounds more  like ‘Ketuanan UMNO" for me.

That is, If you refer to the simple history text book (form 3: Sejarah Malaysia) and you will be curious why The British simply "gave" Independence for Malaya, (a rich and wealthy territory that will give enough resources for The Empire for another hundred years) and you will asked yourself why Dato’ Onn Jaafar,the founder of UMNO left that ‘Malay Organization’ before the 1st election of 1955 and create Parti Negara ,a single multi-races party .For me, "Ketuanan Melayu" is an obsolete idea .Out Of Date. Just like the Klu Klax Klan (KKK) who demand for ‘White Supremacy’ over the Blacks in 1920’s USA. Even Pauline Hanson’s One Nation Party never won Aussie’s heart because their racist agenda towards the Asian.  Go figure.

AND IT IS NOT UNITAR, IT IS UTAR. UNITAR is UNiversity Tun Abdul Razak and UTAR is University TUn Abdul Rahman.Please get your facts straight 1st because it is not 100% chinese university.Got some indians too.If it got 100% chinese, off course it should be because it is a MCA owned Uni. As a conservative Chinese party, off course they only concerned about Chinese only.Just like their counterpart,UMNO.MIC is also building an All-indians University in Perak now.See how ‘ Muhibbah’ our country under BN?..
Honestly speaking, if UiTM opened to all, there wont be any UTAR or Indian’s University at first place.There wont be any low quality private colleges existed (which currently con and cheats SPM leavers which some of them are Malays).What happened now, is the chain-reaction .For example, UTAR is the result of Chinese retaliation towards UiTM policy. Anyway, If the Chinese want to be racist or ethnocentrics towards us, let them be ,but the Malays shouldnt be racist towards other because we are known to have the beautiful culture of "Timbang-rasa"(consideration) and "Tolak Ansur" (tolerant).For example, i hate to shop at PETALING STREET because of those rude Chinese traders.Im not being racist but it’s a fact and coincidentaly, i prefer those Malay traders in any Uptown Hawkers,which is friendlier and easy to bargain.(i dun understand why Tourism Malaysia put Petaling Street as Malaysian Tourist Map).

Anyway,no matter how beautiful our Malay culture and attitude is,UMNO will always make us ugly and become a laughing stock to others.

So,the Victims?.. We already became the victim since day one of Independence under UMNO.

Feedback 2:

k-e,

would u vote ‘yes’ if that suggestion came from the BN people? i wonder….
dun forget…. after all, u are one of us… anak-anak uitm… or maybe u’re just wasting ur time there? poor u…

K-E said:

YES. i would vote ‘yes’ even it came from BN rep.I did mentioned that i will disregard political prejudice as long it is a strong and constructive ideas.But unfortunately,i have yet to hear any good ideas from BN people.
I wont forget that im from UiTM.That’s why i really concerned about those "anak-anak UiTM" who being used by those ass-wiping and boot-licking MPP who always trying hard to please the Admin,especially that "UMNO proxy" VC, Ibrahim ‘ Broery’ Abu Shah.

Don’t you remember how these MPP fags make our life miserable everytime we tried to organize any events for Business School?The fact that we cannot do "outside the box" way of handling things?They even want to dictate our Senior Prom Night!!We cannot be creative at all.

Yes..poor me..poor me that i didnt have the chance kick those MPP butts real hard during my studies.

off course , i already think of the pro and cons but based on SWOT, i found out that, opening up actually give alot of advantages to UiTM and the students.Here i give 3 findings:   

1) The Network in the Industries:
Since we have multi-race students in UiTM, we could have a wider networking in the industries in the future.For example, a Malay fresh grad from UiTM could have easier access to be employed by a MNC since we have a senior grad in that company although he/she is a non-bumiputra but off course every seniors like to have ‘young cronies’ on their side.

In fact,since English is our main language, we could see all those MNC are all runs by "budak-budak UiTM",regardless of the race.
We already have thousands of UiTM networks out there,just Bumiputra alone.Just imagine if we have all races in Malaysia studied in UiTM ,from all those 14 campuses around the country.Plus, if in the future we open up to international students,don’t you think UiTM Alumni will have a strong global community and network?…and The World is ours.As a International Business grad,i totally agree with this concept.

2)  The Brand of UiTM Could be expand abroad:
As UiTM  enrolled international students,it is time to expand the branding abroad.As MARA and UiTM is focused on developing the mind and talent of Middle Class and also the Lower Class citizen of Malaysia, the concept can be the example for other developing countries.In the future, there will be  UiTM Cawangan Phnom Penh , Cawangan Dhaka or perhaps UiTM Cawangan Dubai.

3) UiTM: Listed in World Top Universities
I am sure UiTM can beat the hell out of UM ,UKM or whatever Uni in Malaysia ,since UiTM concentrated more on practical learning than theory.If you guys noticed or still remember, we are force to use our right brain more than our left brain in class.
However, to be listed , a university cannot restricted the entrance to a single ethnicity only.
Sometimes i wish my non-bumi friends can see what i learnt during my days in UiTM so they know that UiTM grads is actually as good as Overseas grads and we’re also competent in the work market.That’s why we need to open up.

Feedback 3:

eiii..Honestly, am so shocked!.i think i lost respect to u already.sorry.

K-E said:
No problem. No need to respect me.Just respect the freedom of speech and Democracy.Off course not all with agreed with what we think,rite?

"..Maybe i do not agree with what you have to say, but I’ll defend to
the death your right to say it… " ~François-Marie Arouet (Voltaire)

Feedback 4:

Ko nak khianat bangsa ko sendiri ke, bro?

K-E said:

UMNO dah lama khianat orang Melayu,bro.They sells us out for soo long.Dah lama kita kena jual.

Feedback 5:

eleh…:P

K-E said:
i dunno how to responses to this one.

The Pro:

Adly said:

I love point num 3. BTW if u are a uni status higher learning institution (+ fall under AUKU, you are obliged to open up.. if you wish to remain di bawah tempurung then by all means change back to "ITM".. no wonder our Unis fail to enter the list of top unis in the world..

Farhanim said:

hey k-e i had just read your bulletin, thought you did joined the parade, but glad that you think out of the box. Well, the naive students were being manipulated, so they would perceived that the Gov as the guardian of the Malay rights. Cant totally blame them. So sick of the gov fuckup twisted agenda. Playing racial card again and again. I agree with you. Hope to see you lead a campaign to raise the awareness, since you’re an ex-UiTM.Good luck.:)

K-E said:

yezzaa…

I stress my point that, education issue is much more important than a race issue. Education is not only about exams and project papers but also how the students responded and assimilate to the ever changing surroundings.
I have few cases which i can say as the Oppression to the Malays,but the question is , where all those 5000 "brave anak-anak UiTM" who claimed to be "saviour of the last Malay defence"?do u still remember these?:

1) Kg Berembang Case (Ampang KL):
The Majority of the residents are Malays and lived there since Merdeka.They’re chased out from their land because Acmar International (a Chinese company)want to build "international condos". The question is, where all those 5000 anak-anak UitM?

2) Pasar Borong Selayang Case:
The Malay traders were chased out by a chinese ‘taiko’ by using intimidation from  foreign gangster of bangladesh and Nepal.The question is ,where are those "brave" 5000 anak-anak UiTM?

3)Suria KLCC Case:
The Malay retailers are slowly being chased out by an Australian Manager. He suddenly raised the rental for Suria, but the weird part is, the increase only involved Malay premises. Kelantan’s Delight already left Suria and now only 1901 Hotdogs and Levi’s Store( moved to small outlet at 3rd floor) are trying to survive and defending the "Ketuanan Melayu" at Suria KLCC.The question is,where all those 5000 "brave" anak anak UiTM. The ironic part is, those anak-anak UiTM still proudly shops at Suria KLCC eventhough the management are trying to kill their own people.( and where is UMNO,DPMM or even this so called PEKIDA?)

4) Kg Rimba Jaya case ,Shah Alam:
Same case like Kg Berembang, with majority of Malays being chased out from their land by previous MBSA.

5) Malay’s Satay and Restaurant Demolishing, Klang:
If u still remember , the famous Klang rep,The late Dato’ Zakaria demolished all Malay restaurants in a spot in Klang to build a new restaurants joint for his sons and daughters at the same spot.

and other issues like Malay poverty (Poor Malay kids drop-out from school) issues or even the simple Oil price hike or "Fair Election"(BERSIH) issues..i  hardly can see those 5000 anak-anak UiTM ,marched on the street to protest..

I know it’s kinda hard to shift from comforts and the feeling of secured. But its time to think and talk about our country’s survival instead of Malay’s Survival issue.And we must utilise all our strenghts and talents,regardless of colours. There are enough cake for everyone to SHARE.

So, This coming MERDEKA..It’s time for Malaysian to really SHARE Malaysia.

I received an email from a ‘PETRONAS’ friend. It is like a counter reply to all the accusation made to PETRONAS.  I don’t really remember when  this accusation about PETRONAS being a ‘evil-greedy-capitalist-blood sucking’ corporation really started, but all i can say is, it’sgetting hot recently, since the oil price hit RM2.70 per litre.

On one side, the accuser, accused PETRONAS to intentionally increase the oil price in this country and at the same time, ripping off Malaysian money by selling out ‘C’ grade oil for the price of ‘A’ grade oil, which PETRONAS export it with lower price. (READ: ‘A’ grade Malaysian oil).  Now,i don’t know how far is the truth about that because i am not a fucking ‘oil and gas’ engineer but i think i can understand the ranking between ‘A’ to ‘C’.

Anyway, the staff and the workers of PETRONAS are not excluded from the bashing.They’re claimed to get 16-18 month bonus from the salary and it getting doubled since the price hike. I don’t know why and how this bonus thing can become an issue to other Malaysian but maybe because PETRONAS is a GLC entity and we, Malaysian perceived its staff as ‘Government Servants’and they didnt deserved to get big paycheck while the people are suffering.

On the other side, the defender, strongly stand behind PETRONAS and state all the reason and justification against those allegation made.  Mostly in a technical explaination.  Again, i am not an engineer but i do think what they explained, really make sense.

Anyway, i am not really concern to believe or to deny those allegation or justification above because:
1) The world oil price is determined by the gobal oil cartel, and then decided by the
governments.
2) I’m going green:- Thinking about installing NGV tank in my car lately.

but what my big concern is,  PETRONAS is being used by BN leaders to feed themselves and their families for soo long and the latest ‘Conspiracy Theory’ which really worries me is that, the famous Son-In-Law, Khairy Jamaluddin (KJ) is actually trying to get PETRONAS for himself.  From the email, the writer claimed that KJ has a personal vendetta over PETRONAS’s CEO, T.S Hassan Merican as he is not that easy to be replace with KJ’s people. Half of the bosses in Malaysian GLCs are being replaced with KJ’s men , including Khazanah Holdings. PETRONAS is seems to be the Holy Grail for KJ because if he can gain control of PETRONAS , is like he can gain control of this country. A bad news as i heard that he has this some-kind of connection with Singapore..and this where my political sense comes in but more than that,i do feel a little bit emotional when it involving PETRONAS.

I am not trying to be sentimental but i do admit it, as a Malaysian, i really love PETRONAS.

i grew up with PETRONAS..in fact, we all grew up with PETRONAS..

i remember when i was a little kid,dad used to take me on a evening drive in the town of Kota Bharu and he will make sure  the tank is full with the gas first. Back in the 80’s (and  i think now)..Sultan Ibrahim Street is known as the ‘road with many Gas Stations’ in KB.

i noticed that everytime when dad want to fill up the gas, he will always go to this green and white station with a symbol of a water or oil drops. So i asked my dad, why he always like to come to this station and not the other stations on the street ,while pointing my finger to another gas stations along the strecth.

So he said, " Well , Abe (Abang)..because BP is belong to Britain, Caltex is belong to America, Shell is belong to Holland.."

"..and this one..PETRONAS..is belong to us.." Dad proudly said.

I was like 5 or 6 years old that time and when i heard that,  i really thought that gas station..that PETRONAS gas station is really -really belong to my dad when  he said, it belong to us!

So, in class,when the teacher asked what is my father’s occupation, i just said, he is a businessman and he owns a oil company named PETRONAS.Off course the teacher wont believe this 7 years old boy when he said he is the son of PETRONAS owner .So, the sweet teacher then corrected my statement;

"..maybe your dad owns a PETRONAS gas station instead?.." . I obediently replied with a headnod,

And the consequence of that misunderstanding was, the school PTA (PIBG) keep asking donations and some ‘contribution’ from my dad for school events like the sports day or even PTA meetings.Dad was so pissed-off everytime  he received school donations letter  which ‘kindly’ indicate him to donate at least few hundreds. The funny part was, he will ask me the same question i want to ask him;

" who do your teacher think i am? Tauke minyak ka?". I only could stand there and frightenedly replied " i don’t know..i don’t know.."

Years goes by and PETRONAS have become one of the ‘big boys’ in the oil industry. It is one of the key player in oil exploration worldwide and becoming respectful global brand with its logo on a F1 car.

Well, i have my own car now and dad, is still using PETRONAS with pride until now and i don’t think he will change to other ‘foreign’ brands as long he owns a car.We almost had a big argument one day  just because i don’t want to fill up at PETRONAS anymore.For me, i have not using PETRONAS for years. I’m not really sure why but it started when i have these so-called economic and political awareness and i believed that, if i consumed PETRONAS, means i feed those ungrateful BN leaders with more money.
until i realized that PETRONAS is not ‘guilty’ for all the shit happening in this country. We need to find other way to eradicate those greedy BN leaders and boycotting PETRONAS wont solve the issue.To boycott PETRONAS is like to kill this country,To kill ourselves and It’s also like killing our own childhood memory…my childhood memory,especially with my dad.I just don’t want to loose anything that belong to me.

So, shall i start a new campaign?  perhaps "SAVE PETRONAS" campaign?

Well,doesnt matter how bad the things goes, PETRONAS should know how to take care of itself since it only employs "geniuses" and "smart people-with-high-CGPA and good college grades ", so people like me who have low CGPA in college, don’t have to worry.

By the way,this is not a story about patriotism because Merdeka Day is still another 2 months.

Im not really sure what it is but there is something about girls that makes me kinda horny.

A lot of time when a girl wearing a tight 3 quater pants and jeans showing her bumps and legs really makes me horny and when i see a girl sitting from  her back watching the differences between the diameter of her waist and the diameter of her bumps and exposing her g-string really makes me horny.

And a girl wearing a black office power suit with black pants really makes me horny and when she match the suit with a headscarf and high heels, also makes me horny.

A girl wearing a Baju Kurung with high heels and then the wind blew at her and showing her hidden mysterious body figure really makes me horny.

A girl with long hair who let the hair loose being swipe away by the wind really makes me horny and when she play and twirl her hair with her finger can really makes me horny.

A girl wearing a make-up and obviously showing her red lush juicy lips really makes me horny and a girl who didnt wear any make-up at all and just like coming out from the bed also makes me horny.

A girl wears casually like a simple sweater and a loose jeans with a  home sandals with her hair undone just like going to a saturday groceries shopping, really makes me horny.

A girl with chirpy sweet voice with a tender persuasive voice asking for something, really makes me horny and a girl with a roar and sexy husky voice screaming or argue for something also makes me horny.

When a girl talks about politics and economy really makes me horny and when a girl talks about girly stuff like those cosmetics or bags or shoes or whatever things i don’t even know, also makes me horny.

and i dont want to talk about this anymore coz im unbelievable fucking horny right now….

Every story will comes to the end and every book will have closing chapter.Should it ends in a good or bad ending,it’s all depends on the writer. Same goes in the real life. Even though we always wished for a happier ending but life is not something that we can control.We can plan but It’s not something that we can manipulate.It’s all belong to the ‘writer’…the God.

Doesn’t matter which God you believe in ,or perhaps you are an atheist or a non-believer, you will always somehow believe in the end of the day, that there’s a much greater force dictating your life.We start to ask God ,what have we done wrong and what is our mistake .Then we start to dig up all the old mistakes that we made and then start to blame others, ourselves or even God  but later we will realize that there is always God’s grace, in every mistake.Perhaps,maybe whatever bad thing that happened is actually a blessing for ourselves or for our love one.OR maybe, to lost something or someone is actually good thing for you or perhaps it is also a good thing for the person that  you love.

This is because sometimes,..you cannot keep things or even a person that you love to yourself forever.If u love someone but things doesn’t work out like you both want it ,the best thing you  can do is just to let the person go..The question is,are you willing to make that call?..To make decision that will change both yours and that person’s life forever?

" To be able to make own decision, is a gift to every man "
-Marcel Proust- (French Novelist and Author, 1871-1922)

You maybe broke with not even a single cent in your pocket to buy her expensive gifts or a dinner in fancy restaurants but the best gift or present that you can give to your girl is FREEDOM…A freedom for her to think.Freedom for her to have more options and to choose what is the best for her .Freedom for her to do what she really wants in her life.And the most importantly, Freedom for her to be  herself.

Eventhough this freedom doesn’t include you…

Deep inside of you, want her to explore new other things and not to miss out on something great in this world.You just want her to be happy… even if that means  she’s not with you.

And all you can do now , is just sit and wait and keep wishing that whichever road she  chosed will lead straight to her dream that will make her happy and without regrets.

Song :"My Wish"   
Artist: Rascal Flatts

(video courtesy of youtube.com)

I hope that the days come easy and the moments pass slow,
And each road leads you where you want to go,
And if you’re faced with a choice, and you have to choose,

I hope you choose the one that means the most to you.
And if one door opens to another door closed,
I hope you keep on walkin’ till you find the window,
If it’s cold outside, show the world the warmth of your smile,

But more than anything, more than anything,

My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,
Your dreams stay big, and your worries stay small,
You never need to carry more than you can hold,
And while you’re out there getting where you’re getting to,
I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,
Yeah, this, is my wish.

I hope you never look back, but ya never forget,
All the ones who love you, in the place you left,
I hope you always forgive, and you never regret,
And you help somebody every chance you get,
Oh, you find God’s grace, in every mistake,
And you always give more than you take.

But more than anything, yeah, and more than anything,

My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,
Your dreams stay big, and your worries stay small,
You never need to carry more than you can hold,
And while you’re out there getting where you’re getting to,
I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,

Yeah, this, is my wish.

My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,
Your dreams stay big, and your worries stay small,
You never need to carry more than you can hold,
And while you’re out there getting where you’re getting to,
I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,

Yeah, this, is my wish.

This is my wish
I hope you know somebody loves you
May all your dreams stay big

It seems that we have a ‘friendly neighbour’ indeed.They come, they stay and they shit in our home. The worst part is,they have being backstabbing us for so long.

Yeah, my country is not a perfect country.It’s not a f*cking utopia.It’s screw up now and we got some issues to talk but please ,among Malaysian only…’Neighbours’ are excluded.And the most important thing is,..NO ONE CAN TALK SHIT BOUT MY COUNTRY!my homeland.

You guys got to check this out.It’s from our ‘friendly neighbour’ which we claimed to be our ‘brothers’.(yeah rite,so much for brotherhood thingy) Yeah, it’s the home of your ‘fave’ music like Peter  Pan,DEWA 19 or that movie which Malaysian love, like ‘Ada apa dgn cinta’ or ‘Love is Cinta’
So, go ahead..take a view and ‘keep supporting’ their movies or music or whatever they bring here..(dun forget the haze or ‘jerebu’)

http://www.malingsia.com
(A website dedicated to condemn Malaysia.All about Malaysian.From politics,the people and our way of life.It seems that everything that we do here in Malaysia is wrong to them)

http://profiles.friendster.com/41140035
(i just add this guy.Just like to know and to learn  from him,what it feel to have so much hatred in our heart)

http://profiles.friendster.com/ganyangmalay
(it started when we claimed ‘Rasa Sayang’ as our traditional song.It’s funny how a small matters can be a big polemic to them)

http://ihatemalay.blogspot.com/
(This one is about hatred towards Malay in Malaysia.Just another racist slurs to the Malay.Nothing new *yawn*)

http://profiles.friendster.com/crushmalingsia
(This one is about how bad we treat the Indons Immigrants(PATI).They demand us to treat the PATI ‘delicately’ and ‘elegantly’ and with respect even thought most of them contribute to the increased crime rates in Malaysia.I think u guys already heard the story of a Malay ‘Pakcik’ in Subang Jaya who being nice to the Indons construction worker near his house.He even invited them to dinner.and guess what?Those Indons workers robbed his house and raped his daughter few weeks after that.It was in TV3 news last year…So being nice to them? yeah rite..)

http://profiles.friendster.com/malaysialan
(this one is totally funny and kinda freaky..it’s about a group of Indon who want to ‘free’ Peninsular Malaysia.So, they formed this so-called ‘Gerakan Separatis Pembebasan Semenanjung Malaya’..
The question is,
1)Do i want to be free by these freaking-ungrateful Indons and then join INDONESIA RAYA as one of her territory (wilayah)?
2)Do i want Malaysia to be part of thousands of island territories which i think more than half of them never get any attention from Jakarta?
3)Do i want to be like Negara Acheh?
4) Do i want to see another bloodshed in front of my house from a religious clashes like what they had in Ambon or Maluku?
5) Do i want to have a special ‘permits’ just to enter and go shopping at my so-called, capital city of Jakarta?
My answer is,..like duh,..NO WAY..Dream on,Indons..
Funny thing about the Indonesian are, they already got so much problem in their own ‘backyard’,( e.g economic problems,unemployment,GDP ,poverty, wide social status gap ,the ‘hidden’ ethnic and religious problem etc etc) but they  always want to shit in our ‘lawn’.What is it with The Indonesian,anyway?what is wrong with them? why are they so ‘nosy’ and ‘kepochi’ about us?What the hell wrong we did to them?Don’t they realize that we have being pumping our energy and resources just to stabilize the S.E.A region and not for Malaysia only?

It’s 2008 and we are now talking about AFTA,Globalisation and borderless market.Doesnt matter how you like or hate the free market,it’s more important than talking shit and spread hatred about certain country.And for this, i feel blessed and proud to be a Malaysian.We are more adaptive,educated,opened-up ,free from hatred and off course we’re not a bunch of nosy people .   

Anyway,cannot blame them.They’re just being Indonesian.It’s only what they really good at.,..ethnocentrism.

Love,Peace and Unity…One Asia…rave on.

I learnt a lesson today,.. becareful when u want to reply to an  email from  a series  of mass-email,..because u wont know who gonna read your email or whether that person like the email you sent.
and also how important to have ‘ethics’ and ‘attitudes’ in sending email.

It all started few days back when i received a mass email  from a friend who also CC that email to another network of frens that even i don’t know who they are. It was just another joke sent thru chain email but then it was followed by a series of reply by the recipients.They were chatting about pregnancy or something.It was like looking a MiRC chat or YM but in email version .My inbox was full with their ‘chat’ . So, i clicked the ‘reply all’ button and sent to all recepients with hard and straight forward -clear message:

"..Weiii!!..my god!!!..penuh dah inbox aku nih…aku tgh tunggu email client
ni
tau tak???
Korang penah dgr tak SKYPE or YM
or MSN???.."

OK..i admit .i replied in a very rude and ‘cruel’ way.it was so harsh and impolite way.Soo harsh and cynical.An unethical way to replied an email. But i was in a tense moment that time.The boss are screaming for a confirmation from clients . I was in full adrenalin as the email from that client was my only saviour.It was the normal dramatic moments that you can find in IT Sales Job.

I realized that i ‘d hurt the feeling of some people in the email list with that kind of hostile email.Especially those who previously ‘chat’ thru that emails.

Later today, as i was doing some housekeeping and cleaning of my inbox ,i found one of the reply from that chain email that really  caught my attention. A guy  asking the recipients to pull his email out from the CC list if they want to have private mail reply because he was waiting for a client to confirm the contract about replacement project for Nuri helicopters. The cool part was,he also mentioned my name.

"…Jika Inbox saya penuh dengan email yang bagi saya sekadar email pinggiran ini,
maka saya minta jasa baik saudara untuk keluarkan saya dari list anda. Seperti
En. Khairy, saya juga menunggu email client saya untuk kontrak .."

OK..at least he replied in a very decent and polite way.Not like my stupid reply.

You see, I m sooo in love with ‘Big Boys Toys’ and  ‘War Machines’ like helicopters,fighter jets and even guns & rifles.So, i sent an email to that dude, asking what sort of helicopter is he going to proposed to MINDEF to replace our aging ‘flying coffin’ or S-61 helicopter (NURI)and i also shared some of my opinion about that.

Clumsy enough, i clicked to "reply all’ and i forgot to erase all the other recipients email adds and then  i just click ’send’ straight-away.It was a really stupid and clumsy mistake.

few minutes after that, a lady sent me this,also thru mass email.

"…uk aloh hang ni….

ghajin sungguh hang no
tampal2 gambaq heli..tulih2 lagi…

hang takdak kerja ka
cheq? kalau nk ckp ngan Mr Najib Mokhtar, email add dia abong_stj@hotmail.com takyah le cc kami
semua….dah2 la tu…zaman tok adam dah cerita ni.. naik basi pun ada..tak lalu
dah…tak faham ke kami semua hari tu teraccident masukkan nama hang sekali dlm
email merapu kami? tak faham ke org mintak maaf a.k.a
sorry….

kalau hang bara ngan
email Mr Najib tu, hang sedaq tak email hang yang kat bawah ni seolah-olah
menghina kami semua? apa ingat kami ni duduk zaman batu ka tak tau
SKYPE or YM or
MSN???..  hang tulih panjang2 psl heli dgn tujuan apa? hang nk tunjuk kat kami
semua hang tau ka? manusia tk penah lari dr buat silap….tp kenal dgn org mcm
hang ni..laaagi la silap besaq bagi kami… sorry la aku tak tau hang sapa… tp
please please please dah-dah la tu…… kerja lain byk lagi dr nk layan email
hang ni…….!!!!!…."

it’s sounds like a really emotional reply. I found out that, she’s also one of the ‘chatters’ in the chain email.I don’t know her but she’s in Kulim,working in a very respectable international semiconductor company.

I guess my mistake is the best time for her  to have her revenge over my poyo email reply.She was waiting for this moment.It’s a pay back time for her..

I don’t want any confrontation over the email.I know it was my mistake before and i’m not the kind of guy who want to have a fight or debate with women.So,I replied personally to her saying that im sorry for CC her email.

Anyway, the lesson for today is,..don’t be rude over the email.Have courteous and be polite. Everything have their own karma.Good deeds and attitude will repay with good things and  vice versa.For me,i got backfired by my own bad attitudes.I had my karma.

Christmas is like another 2 weeks and i already received a text message from an old buddy, inviting me for his open-house thingy for Xmas.

"Dude..come over to my place this Xmas.  u got to try ‘makan’ the Log Cake!!"

and i, like always ,trying to be funny and sarcastic, replied with the most ignorance and idiotic text ever in the history of mankind.

"..hey,do i need to bring my own utensils?hahaha.."

The later reply from him kinda short,but really showing a deep remark:

"..Dude,..my family don’t eat pork.."

His reply shoved me to the back. It was a shocker and i gasped.Never i felt so embarrassed with my self.It’s like someone slapped your face so hard that you cannot lift your head again.It’s like you’ve being raped!!

I’m living in a multi racial and multi religious country but yet , i didn’t really understand (or care!!) about  what are the ‘Do’ and ‘Don’ts of the other faiths.Not sensitive to others and my surrounding.The worst part is,i don’t know what my friends can eat or cannot eat. I am an ignorance -sellfish bastard!

So, to ‘express my sorry’ , i gave him a call .First i pretended that i forgot the route to his house in PJ.Then,i twisted the conversation and  asked about the upcoming dishes for the ‘food bash’ and straightly he said " Don’t worry la bro,there’s no pork or non-halal stuff for the feast.The only haram for you is some XO and  JD and that i cannot stop you la..haha"

Later, he explained that his family followed the Old Testament where pork are forbidden.It’s kinda rare nowadays,especially in Malaysia but we can find the Orthodox Christian in Saudi Arabia and Egypt still practicing this.He impressed me when he started to tell me those religious history of all  the ‘Fellowship of the Book’, - Jews,Christianity  and Islam. It’s a surprised  because for someone who puked and going ’sasau’ in the clubs and parties,sleep around with many girls and go to church once every 5 years ,this dude is actually   f*cking religious!!

and he responded to my surprise,with some pride and arrogant tone,..

" Tau takpe!"..(Now you know!)

Later, he asked me the most intriguing question;

"Now, you as Moslem, do you really know why you guys also cannot eat or even touch pork?"

I was like ‘well, urm,..ok..urm..well,..because of..urm..". Stuttering and not really sure what should i answer to show him that im also a ‘knowledgeable-fellowship-of-the -book". I just remember an urban legend saying that if you pour Coke on a pork meat,you ‘ll see maggots and worms crawling out from the meat.So i gave it a shot.

"urm..because pork got worms..(??)"

He just laughed and said there’s more than just  worms in Pork.It is the centre of all disease.The roots for all human ailments.He started to explained about the dangerous toxin and mucus and enzyme that contains in pork meat.

I was like listening  to his Biology-medical lecture over the phone.He seems so proud with the explanation.I stopped him and asked where he got all this information or maybe he went to a medical course or something.

"hey hallo..where else? ..Internet la, brother.." ( like duhhh..why i didnt think of that at 1st place?.)

He gave me some (a lot!) of website and url  to surf to look for the infos myself but he recommended me few simple one so i wont go mess my brain with biological terms.

http://catholicwriter.wordpress.com/2007/03/06/why-dont-muslims-eat-pork/

http://www.themodernreligion.com/misc/hh/pork.htm

Yes.., i still think that im shallow and lack of knowledge.In fact, i don’t even know the reason behind ‘Do’ and ‘Donts’ of my own faith.I’m the worst of my kind.

The ironic part was, i was being lectured about ‘Why Pork is Haram’ by a fellow Christian brother.It’s sounds funny but at least i can try to use his information if any non-moslem friends ask why moslem cannot eat pork.It’s my turn to’ lecture’.

Well, if you think this nasty post is about pork,..yeap,you are right.It is about ‘Babi’. I even don’t know why  the hell i want to write about ‘Babi’ this time but if i wasn’t being an ignorance Moslem who sent a  ‘wrong’ text message to a Christian friend, ‘Babi’ wouldnt came into the picture.(oink oink oink..heheheheh)

well..anyway, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!!